By Matt Russ
July 19, 2007 -- I recently received an email from an athlete asking if it was normal to break up with her boyfriend during her race weeks. Although this is not indicative of a particularly strong relationship, race week stress levels do run very high. It is important not only for the athlete to recognize this, but their spouse or significant other as well.
Racing is the culmination of many, many hours of hard work. But, beyond the time invested in training, it also validates training effectiveness. There can be anxiety as to whether the athlete is adequately prepared, or prepared to the level of performance or placement they desire. The open water swim is often a major source of pre-race anxiety in triathlon. Race week may involve travel, which in itself is stressful, and getting equipment organized and prepared for a race can sometimes be a logistical nightmare. Life still goes on the week of a race and the stress from work or family responsibilities only compounds an already stressful situation. Sleeplessness is not at all uncommon during a race week. The athlete is also tapering which means their level of activity is reduced significantly at precisely the same time as when they have an excess of stress and mental energy. This may lead to a feeling of being “flat” or under-prepared for the race.
If you happen to be the spouse or significant other of the athlete, your frustration levels may equal that of the athlete’s pre-race anxiety. You may find your athlete short-tempered, anxious, moody, and even slightly depressed. Saying things like “it is just a race, what is the big deal?” or “what is your problem, it is not like you are going to win” will only compound the situation. Their racing is very likely an important part of their life. First and foremost, it is important for you and your athlete to recognize and understand what is going on – a little objectivity can go a long way. Give your athlete some latitude and space during race week. Realize that their stress is not directed at you personally. That being said, you do not need to be the whipping post. Being a member of their “team” and helping reduce stress levels will bring you closer together. Ask how you can help them, encourage them, and keep things positive. Taking any of the logistical stresses off of the athlete helps immensely. Allow them talk through their stress and anxiety. Leave a good luck message or note for them on race morning.
As an athlete, you must keep the lines of communication open. Simply saying “I am a little wound up this week because of my upcoming race; I appreciate you putting up with me” can mean a lot. Give your spouse or significant other an active role in your racing and allow them to be a part of your event. Don’t marginalize them as this may lead to resentment of your racing. They may be the first one you see or call from the finish line. Instead of expounding on your splits, try “thanks honey, I could not have done this without your help.” If you feel you need some “space” to get focused and prepared you must articulate this. Don’t expect anyone to read your mind. If your partner is a fellow competitor, they may have a greater understanding of race week stress, but if they are a non-athlete, you will have to communicate to them what you are feeling.
After a few races together, you may fall into a routine and function more as a team rather than adversaries. Race day will be a much more enjoyable experience for both of you. Having relationship issues the week of a race will only detract from your performance and add more stress to an already stressful situation. And don’t forget, post-race you owe your support staff some personal attention in reciprocation for putting up with you!
Matt Russ has coached and trained elite athletes from around the country and internationally for over ten years. He currently holds an expert license from USA Triathlon, an Elite license from USA Cycling, and is a licensed USA Track and Field Coach. Matt is head coach and owner of The Sport Factory, and works with athletes of all levels full time. He is a free lance author and his articles are regularly featured in a variety of magazines and websites. Visit www.thesportfactory.com for more information or email him at coachmatt@thesportfactory.com